The Bed Hopper

Heidi and I have very comfortable beds. In fact we have two beds each. There are our warm weather beds which are trampoline beds on metal frames - and there are our winter beds which are like dens. They are big dog crates with cosy inserts to keep draughts out. Heidi even has her bean bag inside hers. In my winter den I have a nice thick base pad, a pillow and a blanket of many colours knitted by Nanna many years ago.  Our beds are super comfy.

However, recently, Heidi Ho has taken to playing a mean and nasty game with me in the middle of the night.  She has become.....A Bed Hopper!

For reasons best known to herself she has decided that she wants to snuggle not in her bean bag but in MY BLANKET OF MANY COLOURS!

We go to bed at the usual time after treats and a quick trip outside and settle down for the night.  Then when the house is quiet Heidi gives an alarm yip!  I wake up and am instantly alert because I am an amazing guard dog. What has she heard? I think to myself and race to the door to listen. I walk around checking all the doors to ensure that we are all safe.  Then, assured that all is well, I return to my bed and pillow and blanket only to find that Heidi has jumped into my bed.

I tell her to get out but she won't go.  I ask her nicely but she won't go.  I growl at her but she growls back.  She will not give my nice comfy bed back so I go into her bed.  But it is not my bed and I want my bed.  So what am I to do?

There is only one answer. Cry for Mum. So I knock on the door and cry for my Mummy to come and tell naughty Heidi to get out of my bed.

When Mum comes to see what is wrong with me because I am crying so piteously, she is not overly impressed with either of us.  She tells HoHo to get back in her own bed. Heidi goes. I jump quickly into my cosy den, put my head on my pillow and snuggle into my blanket of many colours.

All is quiet.....for now.

Oh Dear!

You may remember some time ago Mum had a big clean out and found this ball for me. 

Well, today something dreadful happened.

I don't know how it happened. I was just playing with it in my normal very, very gentle way. I didn't do anything, really I didn't.

Heidi was nowhere in sight so it wasn't her fault either.

My beautiful green and black ball suddenly became very unhappy with itself and started to spit its insides out.

I tried to push the insides back in but they kept coming out. I put my paw on the ball to pat it and even more insides became outsides. So I took it to Mum and she said she didn't know how to fix my ball,

She said she would try to push all the insides back in and stitch through the material to hold it all together. BUT she would only give a half hour guarantee on her work.  She said I must have been too rough.

I was insulted by this suggestion and gave her my most pathetic look. She said she would try to fix it but I must not hold out a lot of hope for its survival.

Oh dear. They just don't make balls like they used to. Thank Goodness I still have my super dooper red high bouncy ball.
I wonder where I left that?  Hmmm.?

The Mystery of the Poor Sore Paw

My sister Heidi Ho has had us all concerned because of a poor sore paw. All day yesterday she walked around on three legs holding her front right paw up as if she were one of those hunting pointer type dogs.

Mum gave her front leg a thorough examination and Heidi didn't seem to mind at all.  Mum rotated, stretched and manipulated the leg from shoulder to toes. She carefully probed the little furrows between the toes. She rubbed the paw pads. Heidi just sat there and didn't wince or whimper at all. Yet she continued to hold up the poor sore paw.  She managed to con an extra treat out of Dad by looking particularly pathetic whilst holding up the poor sore paw.   I was appalled!  Fortunately Mum was on hand to slip me a treat too even though there was nothing wrong with my paws.

Why was Heidi's paw sore?  Was it from battling tigers in the bushes?  No....no blood.
Was it from a vicious biting ant?  No....no swelling.
Was it from holding on tightly to a knuckle bone to stop it from moving while it was being crunched?
Was it from an overly exuberant bout of wrestling with 'moi'?

WHY?   It was a mystery.

This morning she bounced out of bed and the poor sore paw as no more.  A miracle had happened overnight.
Some mysteries are just never solved, I guess.

Old Habits

In the great Dogosphere there are several major forces at work.  The chief of these is the Common Knowledge or Accumulated Wisdom; things that all dogs know because of the millions of doggie spirits that have gone before..... such as the necessity of digging holes, seeking out treasures, chasing pussycats and possums, rolling in smelly things etc.

Mum is of the opinion that doggie spirits never really disappear; that they are actually released, restored and reincarnated.  She cites some rule about energy being neither created nor destroyed as the basis for this theory...Physics or Einstein or something...but she also says it is because dogs bring so much joy into the life of humans that one lifetime is just not enough.

In our house, the Common Knowledge is disseminated by the spirit of the Great Skidoo, a beautiful black Weimarana/Boxer, (real name Juno), who shuffled off this mortal coil some ten years ago.  Heidi seems to be the most recent incarnation of the Great Skidoo. Mum says that Heidi is alarmingly like Juno in her behaviours. Heidi seems to know a lot more than she could possibly have learned in her six years and is often able to offer instruction on the problems that beset a big blonde dog.

For example, when dinner was not being served at the appropriate time, the Great Skidoo (via Heidi) pronounced that a gentle hint was all that was necessary.  A beautifully executed "Sit up and Beg" manoeuvre from Heidi and a flying leap onto Dad's lap by me was exactly the right gentle hint. Dinner was served.
The Accumulated Wisdom triumphs again!
The Great Skidoo is always right.

So, the other day, when I was a bit bored because Mum had gone off to work and left us at home by ourselves, I enquired of the Great Skidoo what I could do with myself.  Heidi meditated upon the question and an answer was produced.  I merely acted upon the advice of all the doggie spirits of the Universe.


And that, Your Honour, is my defence against the current charges of theft and misappropriation.

It was the Common Knowedge, the Accumulated Wisdom....the Great Skidoo.....that made me do it.

YAY!!!!

MUMMY' S HOME!!!!.....finally.

On Saturday morning very early we woke up when we heard a car on the driveway.  Heidi became very excited right away because she knew it was Dad's car and started squealing and running around the garage.
With all that noise going on I couldn't tell whether it was Dad or not, so I just waited for something to happen.

Uncle Mike hadn't let us into the house yet because he was still asleep so I couldn't jump up to look out the window.  So I waited....Heidi kept squealing, "It's them! It's them!", but I was sooooo patient. I just waited.

And then the door opened......and there was Mum!   Oh!  Then I was very happy and excited and gave her a big cuddle and a slurp. Heidi was dancing around on her back legs, singing her "Welcome Home, Where the Hell Have You Been?" song.  Mum sat on the couch so we could both snuggle up to her at the same time and asked us if we had been good. Naturally we assured her that we had been totally well- behaved at all times and not to believe any stories about missing loaves of bread that Uncle Mike might tell.

Dad wouldn't let me help with the unpacking but I was allowed to jump on the pile of dirty clothes that was waiting to go into the washing machine. That was fun.

Now everything has returned to normal.  Uncle Mike has gone back to his home. Dad went off to work this morning.  Mum went to the shops to restock our food shelf. All is well in my world.

But...I am considering getting rid of those suitcases. If they didn't have suitcases, they couldn't go away, could they?   Hmmmm.

Policy announcement

As you are probably aware, our policy regarding cats has always been very simple and very clear.
One can either a) ignore the cat......not my choice as a rule......or b) chase the cat....need I say more?

However, Heidi and I have held a meeting, formed a committee and come to the agreement that the cat policy may have an additional clause added.

Cat Policy:  Family Associations

When the cat in question is part of the family it may still be ignored but should on no account be chased.  It should also be offered the same considerations as the family dogs.

So, with this new policy in mind we extend our best wishes to Reuben Cat who was hit by a car last week when he was wandering around outside his house. He has a broken jaw and has had to have an operation to rewire his jaw. This means he has to be fed through a tube into his neck and will have to relearn the eating process when his jaw is better.
Since Reuben's mum is a friend of our Mum, this means he is, by association, part of the family and therefore fits under the new policy guidelines.
Get well soon. Reuben Cat.

Heidi reminds me that there may be cats living in a place called Seattle who are also family by association because Mum and Dad know their humans.
Whoever would have thought that I would ever be referring to cats as family?  It just doesn't seem right somehow.

Stocks running low

Well, it has been a whole month now since Mum and Dad took their suitcases and left us here at home while they went goodness knows where.

We were a bit worried that we would have to manage on our own but, fortunately,  Uncle Mike, whom we had never met before, came to stay with us. This has a good thing because although Mum left us a million trillion cans of food, we are yet to figure out how to get the food out of the can.
Uncle Mike has taken over dinner service, walks, issuing of treats and game playing.  He has also kept up the collection of our you-know-what which makes me wonder if all humans have this odd hobby.

Now Heidi has announced that Mum and Dad will be back soon.  She bases this theory on the fact that there are only two and a half paws worth of cans....thats ten....left on the shelf in the garage.  Uncle Mike does not buy dog food.  He only buys food for himself.  So Heidi thinks that when those ten cans have been disposed of, Mum and Dad will come back with more food for us.  Heidi is a deep thinker.  She studies things, turns the evidence over in her mind and then makes her pronouncements.
So, we expect to see Mum and Dad in ten cans' time.