Christmas Day

It is Christmas time again and we just love it!  Everyone is in a good mood and there are lots of little treats for well-behaved dogs.

On Christmas Eve we were put to be bed with strict instructions about barking at odd noises on the roof during the night. Apparently, these noises would be caused not by possums playing football (as is the usual practice with possums at this time of the year) but by Santa landing his kangaroo-pulled sleigh up there.

So we slept peacefully and awake to find that our Christmas tree…with which we had dutifully avoided all contact as per the Rules of Christmas agreement of 2007…had been surrounded by parcels.

I was given the highly important job of opening the parcels.  I am supremely talented in this area.  My ripping and tearing skills are unsurpassed.  Heidi helped by barking encouragement.

Some parcels are tougher than others.  Humans have a tendency to overuse the sticky tape but I managed to open every single package under that tree.  I was informed that I was being retained as  the Official Christmas Parcel Opener for Christmas 2014.  Yes!

Here is what was in the parcels that had 'Heidi' and 'Trudy' labels on them.  We were very happy with Santa and very glad that we had not frightened him off when he visited our house.  It is easy to understand why one should not bark at him when he delivers such goodies.  I was prepared to hoe in and demolish the lot right away but Mum, in her infinite wisdom, said that would not be happening. We had to socialise with the visitors and have our photos taken.

Heidi is able to sit up and look particularly cute for photos.  She has what Mum calls a "barrel butt" which allows for perfect weight distribution when sitting. I, on the other hand, am long and leggy…a very attractive attribute in blondes, according to Dad….so when I attempt the sitting up posture, I fail spectacularly and topple over.  So I don't even bother trying so as not to embarrass myself.  I simply sit and offer a paw for shaking.

Finally it was time for food.  Mum had made the table ready for everyone and our visitors had all brought food with them so there were heaps of yummy smells in our house.

The humans ate and we ate.  The humans laughed and chatted and we took a nap.  The visitors eventually left and we ate some more…so did Dad.

Well, after such an exhausting day, I needed a good solid snooze so I found a comfy spot and settled in.

Dad lay down on the couch and snored and I snored in the chair beside him.

I really like Christmas.  :) Woof!

Surprising behaviour

I have been informed that there are people out there who have been wondering why communication from me has been sparse lately.
Well, I have been surprisingly well-behaved…at least according to Dad. Mum might tell a different story but she has been too busy to tell dad about my adventurous lifestyle.

 Dad doesn't know about the set of pyjamas that he left on the chair in the bedroom that somehow found its way out to the palm trees.  I thought I had buried those jammies really well but Mum with her eagle-eyesight and somewhat suspicious nature spotted them. They were then dug up, washed and returned to their rightful place under Dad's pillow with his being none the wiser. Several pots of bromeliads suffered by way of retaliation I might add.  My treasures should remain where I bury them.

 Dad does not know about the two bread rolls that he had earmarked for his lunch that filled a passing pup's tummy last weekend.  Mum did a hasty bakery run to buy replacement rolls (and a couple of doughnuts for afternoon tea). He's spoilt, that Dad of ours.

 Dad does not know about the semi chewed sock and its mate that had to be thrown out because Mum decreed that the toe-less look was out of fashion this year.  She popped a new pair of socks into Dad's drawer to replace the mutilated ones.

 Dad doesn't know that the bathroom was particularly sparkling on Thursday because Mum had to mop it twice that day after I chose to throw up a mess of partially digested toad on the tiles.  I thought it was preferable to throw up in the bathroom than on the carpet. Mum agreed with this philosophy but gave me the lecture about chewing up road kill for the seventy-second time anyway.

So, I believe that what Dad doesn't know won't bother him and will ensure that I continue to receive a good cuddle from him every night.

Ho Ho to the Rescue

An ugly bug came buzzing through our house today.

It came in through the garage when we went out to play.

It flew into the kitchen and smashed into the wall.

It lay unmoving on the floor so Mum thought that was all.

She went to get the dustpan to sweep the thing away

And I arrived to help her but just got in the way.

The bug then resurrected and flashed across the room.

It bounced up to the ceiling then shot downwards with a zoom.

I saw it coming for me so I went into a spin.

The bug dive-bombed me several times. I swear it wore a grin.

I performed my famous vertical leap. Didn't want that bug on me.

The ghastly beastie sensed my fear and would not let me be.

It buzzed around my head and ears. I couldn't get away.

Then SuperHero Heidi arrived to save the day.

She raced into the family room and assumed a battle stance.

The bug began  to circle in a fiendish bugly dance.

Heidi stood as still as stone.  She was so very cool.

The bug flew ever closer….silly little fool.

Past her ear - a daring dart, around her nose, it flit.

And when it buzzed past Heidi's mouth……she promptly swallowed it!

Moving things

Things have been changing in our house lately.
Mum and Dad have been moving the furniture around.  I don't know what brought this activity on but I find it very interesting, and just a little confusing.

In the big room, where there used to be a pool table, there is now a table and chairs, a wooden cupboard thing that a television sits on and a couch. The pool table was taken away by two men one day. They came with a little truck, loaded it on the back and drove away.  Mum didn't seem to be concerned about the theft of our pool table at all.  She even held the door open for the men.  I tried to protest but was told to be quiet and mind my manners. How am I supposed to be the protector of the house and contents when I am minding my manners?  

Heidi was a bit peeved because she liked to sleep on the mat under the pool table.
I thought about filing an official complaint on her behalf....something in the form of lizard remains left in the lounge room....when I noticed that Dad had brought a couch into the room.  I happen to like couches.  They are so comfortable.  One can stretch oneself right out when one is having one's post dinner snooze.

We have another couch. It is in the lounge room but it is usually occupied by Heidi.  She has invoked the 'Older Sister's Advantages' clause of our housemates agreement whereby she gets first choice of snacks, sleeping quarters and human laps to sit on.  This means I usually have to squeeze my large size self into a medium size armchair while she luxuriates on HER couch. So, I was understandably delighted to find that I now had my own couch on which to ever-so-gracefully recline.

The only problem now is that Dad appears to be of the opinion that MY new couch is his.  He wants to park himself on MY couch to watch the Golf Channel.  I have tried to explain to him that there is room for two on the couch if he keeps himself to one end, but he insists on my vacating the couch completely so that he can spread himself out.....and he won't even share the cheese and crackers!

Disgusting!

This is a fruit bat.  I don't like fruit bats.  They fly around at night and crash around in the palm trees eating the little nutty things that the palm trees grow.  They squeal and squeak, making a lot of noise.
But, worst of all, they POOP!!!!!   EVERYWHERE!!!!  They are indiscriminate poopers.

On Sunday Mum was complaining about bat poop being on the windows. There was even some that had gone through the insect screens and onto the shutters.  Disgusting!

This didn't really concern me until last night.  You see, I was outside doing one of my regular patrols of the back yard, when one of the rotten little flying poopers flew over and pooped on me from a great height......on me.......on my back......right on my beautiful blonde woolly back.   Unbelievable!  I was shocked.  It felt horrible...all wet and stinky.  Disgusting!

Normally I don't have a problem with stinky things but this was just insulting.  What sort of creature wantonly poops on someone from a great height like that?  I tried to get it off by rolling on the grass but that didn't work, so I dashed inside to tell Mum.

She was in the kitchen doing something so, considerate dog that I am, I decided to not disturb her and went into the lounge instead. I thought maybe I could scrub the stinky goo off on the couch if I rubbed myself along under the cushions.  That didn't work either.

Then Dad smelt it.   He was not pleased.  I tried to show him that it was bat poop but he just told me to get away from his trousers. So I tried to get the poop off by rolling on the carpet.  That didn't work either.  I was very upset and confused by this time.

Mum heard all the uproar and came into the living room to see what was going on.  Dad had a hold on me by then and he pulled me out into the laundry.  (It was more like dragged really).  Mum gave my poor despoiled back a sponge bath and finally the stinky poop came off.  Then Mum dried me off with the hair dryer and I began to feel a bit better.

Mum realised that my delicate feelings had been hurt and said I could have a Schmacko to make me feel better.  That worked wonders.  Heidi appeared out of nowhere to get in on the Schmacko deal.  She claimed that she had felt my trauma and also needed a soothing treat. Pfft!

Mum said that when I hear the bats squealing, I should stay inside but that would interfere with my security patrols.  I think I need some sort of umbrella that would attach to my body to protect me from disgusting flying poopers.  If anyone can design such an umbrella, contact me via this page.

Thank you.
BBD

What the...?

We are seeking an explanation of this thing which we saw on our lake today.

It seems to be some sort of bird but we have never seen a bird like this before.  It was sailing across the lake this morning when we were having our walk.  Heidi and I sat and watched it for quite some time.

It is quite a big bird.  Heidi says it is not a duck. She says she wouldn't want to jump in after one of these. It has big wings and a sort of flat body.  I think Heidi could stand up on its back if she wanted to and have a ride.  I wonder if it is a friendly beastie?

It has a scary bag thing under its chin. When it sees a fish in the water, it dips its head in the water and scoops up the fish in the bag.  You can see the fish in there squirming about!  Horrible!  Then- gulp - down the fish goes.  Yuk!  I myself am not a fan of fish - but I do like those little prawns they put in Chinese fried rice.

When it was done fishing, this thing sort of stood up and ran along the top of the water, flapping its wings and eventually took off.  It flew around for a while and then landed on the other side of the lake. I think it was doing aerial surveillance - looking for more fish.

The landing was unbelievable. It came skidding in with its feet down and swished water up in a wave before sitting down on the surface.  Something like my mud puddle splash down only without the face plant at the end.

It is a puzzlement.  Whatever could it be?  

The Bed Hopper

Heidi and I have very comfortable beds. In fact we have two beds each. There are our warm weather beds which are trampoline beds on metal frames - and there are our winter beds which are like dens. They are big dog crates with cosy inserts to keep draughts out. Heidi even has her bean bag inside hers. In my winter den I have a nice thick base pad, a pillow and a blanket of many colours knitted by Nanna many years ago.  Our beds are super comfy.

However, recently, Heidi Ho has taken to playing a mean and nasty game with me in the middle of the night.  She has become.....A Bed Hopper!

For reasons best known to herself she has decided that she wants to snuggle not in her bean bag but in MY BLANKET OF MANY COLOURS!

We go to bed at the usual time after treats and a quick trip outside and settle down for the night.  Then when the house is quiet Heidi gives an alarm yip!  I wake up and am instantly alert because I am an amazing guard dog. What has she heard? I think to myself and race to the door to listen. I walk around checking all the doors to ensure that we are all safe.  Then, assured that all is well, I return to my bed and pillow and blanket only to find that Heidi has jumped into my bed.

I tell her to get out but she won't go.  I ask her nicely but she won't go.  I growl at her but she growls back.  She will not give my nice comfy bed back so I go into her bed.  But it is not my bed and I want my bed.  So what am I to do?

There is only one answer. Cry for Mum. So I knock on the door and cry for my Mummy to come and tell naughty Heidi to get out of my bed.

When Mum comes to see what is wrong with me because I am crying so piteously, she is not overly impressed with either of us.  She tells HoHo to get back in her own bed. Heidi goes. I jump quickly into my cosy den, put my head on my pillow and snuggle into my blanket of many colours.

All is quiet.....for now.