Friday, 21 September 2012

Special Duty

Dad sat us down this morning and told us we were on special duty this weekend.

You see, he has gone away to Golf. He goes there most Sundays but this time he is going to Golf for three whole days.  This means that we have to take care of Mum. Dad said so.
"Trudy,' he said. 'I want you to look after your Mum for me.'

So Heidi and I are taking our duties very seriously.  Where Mum goes, we go.
This afternoon when there was some thunder, I made sure she was safe by sitting on her lap so that she felt safe.  I am sure she appreciated my efforts because she didn't try to push me off.

I tried to look after her while she was in the shower by sitting in the bathroom doorway but she said my attentions were not required. I shall report this to Dad when he comes home. How am I supposed to take care of her if she is going to be difficult about it? Heidi says that there is no accounting for the perverse natures of humans.  I think she may be correct.

Dinner was managed fairly easily. We were served at the appropriate time and then, Mum made herself some ravioli. We watched over her carefully while she ate it without sharing...some silly nonsense about tomato and garlic not being good for dogs.  Now we are enjoying tea and biscuits together.....well, she has the tea and we have had a biscuit each.

Heidi is trying to convince Mum that it would be best if we slept in the big bed with her tonight but Mum is resisting this offer. accounting for perversity.  This too shall be reported to Dad.

He called us earlier and Mum told him we were doing a good job....then she told him about the hole I found in the backyard that required digging, the tarpaulin that I found that needed ripping up, the old rubber thong that Heidi took into her nest behind the palm tree and a couple of other minor indiscretions that had occurred today.

All in all I think that we are carrying out our special duties extremely well. Dad will be really pleased with us.  I am expecting a nice big juicy bone on Sunday night when he comes home.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

The calm position

On Friday morning right after Schmackos we had a visitor. His name was Mr Paul.  We had never met him before but he came right into our house and sat down at the kitchen table.
Mum and Dad sat down too and they had a big talk with Mr Paul.
Heidi hid....of it was up to me to find out what was going on.  I went over to Mr Paul and put my head on his leg so that he would be impressed by my friendly nature and give me a pat. He did but he also put a lead on me.
Excellent! I thought. We're going for a walk.  
Heidi came running in because she wanted to go for a walk too but it was all a trick.  We weren't going for a walk at all.

It was something called TRAINING.  Mr Paul was here to teach us something called the controlled calm position.   It involves sitting.  Nothing else.....just sitting.  When Mr Paul or Mum pull up on one's collar, one is to sit......just sit....nothing else....just sit.  I picked it very quickly but Heidi decided that she would sit when she wanted to sit not when someone else wanted her to sit. There was, after all, no bowl of dinner involved. So she took a bit longer to understand the calm position.

Today we went to the park and practiced walking a bit and then sitting....nothing else....just sitting.
People kept coming over to Mum and asking her if we were okay.....she just standing there and me sitting....just sitting.  Boy, was I ever calm!  I even sat...just sat.....when a child on a bike wobbled past me.

Mum seems pleased that we can do this new trick.  We are puzzled.  Why would she want us to be calm?  Surely all the brilliant rampaging and frenzied barking and compulsive possum stalking are far preferable to sitting....nothing else.....just sitting in a calm manner?  All this calmness makes us quite sleepy.  Zzzzzzz