Thursday, 31 January 2013

What the ...?

What is this thing?   It has come under the gate and is walking along the ledge outside our spa pool room.  It is poking out its horrible little blue tongue and appears to be giving us cheek.

Heidi is watching it but it is not responding to her repeated warnings to 'Get Lost!'

Mum is playing with the computer and she just keeps saying it is okay, and to be quiet, and to leave it alone.


I want to go out there and get that thing.  Somebody tell Mum to open the door and let the big, brave guard dogs do their duty to protect the property.

Sunday, 27 January 2013

Brave dogs

There is a big, huge, scary, loud storm called a cyclone at our place right now.  It is really, really wet underpaw and we are not allowed to go outside unless supervised by Mum or Dad.

There are lovely big puddles in the back yard that look just like a dog should go and jump into them.  Heidi is not interested. She doesn't like having wet feet ... unless she is chasing a duck into the Lake, which is an entirely different matter.

I love mud and puddles. Mum sees it as her personal duty to restrict my access to mud puddles for some reason.  I think it has something to do with my face plant into the mud at the puppy park and the resulting full body mud coverage.  She made me walk around the park on the leash until I was dry before she would take me home in the car and THEN I had to submit to a cold bath under the garden hose.  Talk about undignified!

So here we are, confined to barracks for the duration of the storm.  I don't really mind because the wind is sounding pretty scary out there. I don't like noises that come out of nowhere.  It is very confusing.

Mum has just taken us outside for the world's fastest toilet break after dinner......just enough time to do what was necessary with extremely urgent encouragement to 'hurry up, Trudy'.  We had to paddle out to the palm trees and find a good, above the water line spot there and get the job done as quickly as doggedly possible.  Heidi won the contest but only because I went to have a look at the puddles first.  Then we had to rush back inside for a towel down. Phew!

Mum has suggested that we get an indoor doggie toilet made of artificial grass and stuff for times like this.  I am appalled by this. It is the great outdoors for Heidi and me even if it means dealing with extreme weather situations.  We are very brave dogs.

Monday, 14 January 2013

Moving sticks

When I was on my morning patrol, I saw something on the window sill. It was a stick. It was on the outside...just lying on the brick ledge.
I couldn't really get at it to brush it gently off with my big, furry, gentle (but extremely powerful) paw so I huffed on the window. That didn't really help because the glass just fogged up.  I licked the fog off the glass because Mum likes to be able to see out of the windows (I am so helpful) and then....I thought I saw the stick move.
There was a bit of a breeze blowing outside so I figured that the stick was being pushed by the wind did it again!  It moved!  Not just a blowing in the breeze sort of move but a sort of a walking it had legs.  No way!  Sticks do not walk!  I was I called Heidi.
Heidi said that sticks do not walk and that I should have a lie down......then the stick walked again.  It walked right up the window to the next ledge.  Heidi said it wasn't possible and she barked for Mum.

Mum came to have a look and she told us that it wasn't a stick. It was a creature that looked like  stick and that we had to leave him alone.  Creature indeed! We knew Mum was making up stories to trick us again. So we waited and we watched. The "creature" walked up to where the bug screen starts so that meant I could have a proper sniff and suss it out properly.

I sniffed. It froze. I sniffed again and it attacked me. It stuck one of its skinny little, able to fit through the fly mesh, stick legs right into my nose!! Well...the nerve of some sticks! I was furious and insulted and confused and my nose itched so I thumped the window.  The stick fell off and tumbled down to the ground. I was all ready to dash outside to finish the rotten little beast off but Mum was more interested in my assault on the fly screen.
Apparently fly screens should not be thumped with one's big, furry, gentle (but extremely powerful) paws.  Heidi decided to go for a nice lie down to consider the possibilities of walking sticks while I was told to stay on the mat near the door and calm down. Pfft!

The stick eventually walked its way across to the plants and disappeared into the bushes.  It thinks it has won the battle but nobody gets away with poking me in the nose.  This is not over.

Monday, 7 January 2013

Airconditioner versus Geckos

In our house, high up on the wall, we have this thing.

It is a blowing machine and we really like it. On those horrible, sweaty summer days we can lie in a wonderful cool breeze and snooze.  Mum really likes it too.  Mum is not a fan of the horrible, sweaty summer days either, so you can imagine her distress the other day when the breeze blowing machine became incontinent.  If Heidi and I did what it did on the carpet, we would have been in big trouble.
Fortunately, Mum and Dad knew that the puddle was none of our doing.

So, yesterday, two men came in a van to inspect the breeze blowing machine and make pronouncements on its state of health.....kind of like a visit from the vet.  They took it to pieces..took its white cover off and gave Mum a big pat on the back because the filter thingy was clean.  Apparently this is not usual. I wonder if I have a filter thingy and if it is clean?  I guess it must be.....if Mum looks after a machine's filter thingy, she would look after mine, wouldn't she?

The men poured water into the breeze blowing machine to see if it would pee properly, outside as it should.  It did, but not fast enough, so the tall man said, "Hmmm.....must have a blockage," and proceeded to spray some stuff down into the breeze blower's innards.  This caused about a trillion ants to come scurrying out of the pipe on the outside.  Ants, ants and more ants kept coming out. The two men became very excited by this but I was told to behave and sit quietly when I tried to be part of the excitement.  Where was Heidi while all this was happening? Why, hiding, of course. No help whatsoever.

The two men tried pouring water in again......still not an adequate piddle from the breeze blowing machine.  "Hmmm," said the tall man. "We'll have to undo the pipe."  So Mum and I went outside to watch while he took the cover off the wall and found the pipe.  He opened it up and guess what he found?

He found a big plug of gecko poop!!

The geckos had been using the breeze blower as a feeding ground because the ants had built their nest in the pipe.  So when the breeze blower tried to pee, it couldn't do it properly because of the ant's nest and the gecko poop.  Once that was all cleared out, everything was fine.  The breeze blowing machine could pee away to its heart's content and our peaceful, cool snoozes were ensured.

I relayed all this news to Heidi but she would not come inside while the two men were here.  She decided to bark at them from the garage instead.  How embarrassing! I offered to help the men with the cleaning up but Mum said it was probably a better idea for me to just stay with her. Mum likes to have me very close.  She needs my assistance in moments like this. I am such a comfort to her.

Now we are all comfortable. The two men have gone away. Heidi has come inside, inspected the work zone and pronounced it satisfactory. Mum has a cup of tea and we all relaxing in a nice cool room.

Life is good.  Note to self.....keep an eye on those geckos.

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Mum's gone completely crazy.

As you know by now, the things my Mum does often confuse me. However, the last couple of days have been confusing beyond belief.

Usually Mum is very protective of her stuff. She collects it all up and puts it away in boxes or cupboards where Heidi and I are not allowed.  There are some things in the house that bring a stern, 'NO!' if one so much as sniffs at them.  We have been taught all about what things belong to humans and what things belong to dogs and how much more valuable human things are than dog things.

On Friday morning, a truck arrived on our driveway and deposited a big, brown bin right outside the garage. We thought this was most odd and gave it a good barking. It did not move.  So we gave it another good barking. It still didn't move so Heidi went to see Mum about it. Mum said we could have a look at it,  so when we going out for our walk we had a sniff at it and I stood up to have a look inside.
It smelt interesting but there was nothing in it. It was still there when we came home from our walk and a further growling from Heidi made no impact.

Then, while we were having our post-walk nap, the madness occurred. Mum started taking things out of the house and dropping them into the big, brown bin; cardboard boxes, a stereo system, a chair, the tv set that has been sitting in the garage for ages. all sorts of things.  Suddenly the things that she has always been so protective of were not required and out they went.  I was baffled by this behaviour.
I tried to save a cardboard box by sitting in it and was successful for about an hour but when I went outside to.....well, you know......Mum took the box out to the bin as well.

Heidi sat on the bed while Mum delved into the deep, dark recesses of the cupboard in the spare room.  More stuff for the bin; books, suspicious looking shoes, a cowboy hat, half a jigsaw puzzle......but then, she found something. It was green and she gave it to me.
 I studied it carefully.  Who knows what sort of things come out of cupboards. It looked like an ordinary ball but I had to be careful because I don't like squeaky balls.

So I slurped it. It didn't squeak.  Yay!

I decided it was safe to keep so after some consideration and a quick game of Catch with Dad, I have taken it out to my bed and hidden it under the rug so that Mum can't find it and throw it out with all the other things.

You never know what goes through human minds.  They are a very strange species.
I am going to have a nap now and hope that my new treasure will still be there when I wake up.