Friday, 23 March 2012

When is a rat not a rat?

Behind the back fence there is a rat. Mum says it is a dog but I don't think so. I think it is a rat.
It has little stumpy a rat.
It has little beady a rat.
It has a ratty looking a rat.
It makes a sucky a rat.
It is called Otto.....a rat's name if ever I heard one.

Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Mum insists it is a dog. She says it is a Chee-wow-wah. I have never heard of a Che-wow-wah. Neither has Heidi. So we have been keeping a close eye on Otto the Rat just to see if he shows any signs of dogginess.

We are taking turns at watching. There are spaces between the palings of the back fence. It is not like the side fence which is really high. This makes the watching quite easy and comfortable. We can just sit in under the palm trees and relax whilst peeping through the gaps in the fence. The only problem is that these particular palm trees are right beside the clump of bushes where we think the vicious, nasty, scratching, biting tiger beast lives.

We have come up with a plan to deal with this issue. One of us takes up the observation position under the palm trees and the other reclines gracefully on the patio lounger and listens for rustling in the bushes. That vicious, scratching, biting, nasty tiger beast is not going to get us again. In fact, now that I think about it, if anyone is danger from a nasty, vicious, scratching, biting tiger beast, it would be Otto the Rat.

He is little and tends to a rat.
He hides behind the big plant a rat.
He is teeny tiny and has no muscles to fight off a a rat.
He has, so far, shown no signs of being a dog so I think the tiger beast who lives in the bushes will have no problems turning Otto the Rat into a light lunch.

I hope not. I like spying on him. I like giving him a good barking occasionally and I like running up and down beside the fence racing him. He can go surprisingly fast sometimes. In fact, he's not so bad really.....better than those pussy cats.
Perhaps I should warn him about the vicious, biting, nasty, scratching tiger beast.

Monday, 19 March 2012

Goldidog and the Three Beds

It was raining in the forest by the lake.  Goldidog looked out of the garage doorway.  She had had a busy evening scaring away pussycats and climbing up the fence trying to catch pesky possums but, now, everything was quiet. Mum and Dad had gone to bed.  Heidi was in the walk in closet fast asleep and, now, it was raining.  Goldidog decided it was time for her to go to bed too.

She tried the bed in the garage.
It was too cramped and draughty. 
Goldidog kept looking.

She tried the beanbag by the poolroom door.   It was too soft and scrunchy.  Goldidog kept looking.

She wandered around the house looking for just the right spot to sleep. 
She had been a busy dog and she needed a comfortable place to rest.
And then, there it was.....the perfect place!  The big bed in the spare room where Mum slept on nights when Dad snored really loudly.  It was perfect!  Soft, but not too soft. Cool but not draughty and so, so comfortable.  Goldidog hopped up and arranged herself in the middle of the bed....ahhhh, just right.
Goldidog slept soundly and woke up as soon as the first birds started to sing.  She crept quietly out of the spare room and curled up in the little bed in the garage.  She was very pleased with herself.  She had found the perfect place to sleep and no one would ever know.

Or would they?

Saturday, 10 March 2012

I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat

Remember how I told you that we had a new pussy cat in our neighbourhood?  Well, there is not just one pussy cat but TWO!  
Heidi thought she heard something next door so she had a quick peep and was instantly on alert. There were two not just one.  She watched them for a while in their courtyard.

Then she called me to have a look too.  I had to peep in between the retaining wall and the fence palings to get a proper look but...yep...there they were.....lying on chairs looking very relaxed.
We gave them a good barking but it didn't worry them at all. 

Heidi and I had a council of war and decided that I would jump up really high and maybe get over the fence.  
So I tried but it didn't work.  Pfft!  Will have to come up with a better plan.

Meanwhile they are just laughing at us through the fence.  How rude!  
Pussy cats!  Phooey!!

Monday, 5 March 2012

An Interloper

Our new next door neighbours have committed the dreadful crime of buying.......a cat.  Can you believe it?
We are already having to put up with Kahlua, a brown feline being, who lives in one of the houses over the back fence and now we have another cat to deal with.

Cats are annoying beasties because they think they are cleverer than dogs.  This theory of theirs is based on the fact that they can walk along the tops of fences and we cannot. They like to do this whilst saying rude things like, 'Ha ha, stupid dog. You can't get me.'  This is very irritating and insulting.  Kahlua is an expert in irritating Heidi and me.  He even sits on the top of the fence and dangles his tail as he sings his silly pussy cat songs.  When I jump up to grab him, he flips his tail out of the way.  Why I could just.........!!!

Anyway, I was sitting in the pool room on Sunday, keeping an eye on the park across the road, when this new cat brazenly wandered past the window.  Well, I gave hime a jolly good barking and he ran away and sat right outside the garden gate.   I kept barking and Heidi came to help but the dastardly thing just sat there with its tongue sticking out.  Eventually Dad had to go out and shoo it off.  I was beside myself with indignation and it was only the fact that dinner was soon to be served that calmed me down.

Then, yesterday, I was out in the yard doing my regular patrol when I saw, under our palm trees, an interloper.  You guessed it.  It was the new cat.  How dare he?  I let out a blood curdling (according to Mum) squeal and dived in there after him.  He started spitting and squealing too and shot into the bushes.  I went in after him and was crashing around looking for him when Mum arrived on the scene demanding to know what was going on.

The cat used this diversion to zoom off towards the garage but Heidi was waiting there to block his exit,
(excellent double teaming by the brave canine defenders of the home), so there was more spitting and squealing.  Heidi had him cornered in the garage and I was on my way to assist when.......go on, have a guess what happened........yes, Mum ruined everything.   Sigh!

Mum slammed the garage door so I was stuck out in the yard.  Then she went over to try to grab Heidi which gave the cat a chance to nip in under the car.  Mum finally got hold of Heidi's collar and dragged her into the house and closed her in there.  Then she opened the big roller door and let the cat out.

Game over.

Heidi and I spent about an hour looking around the yard and the garage just in case the cat had come back without any success.  Mum says she hopes he has learned his lesson and won't come back into our place.
Having ruined our game she doesn't want us to have any more fun.  Humans!   As previously mentioned on this blog, humans have no idea about having fun.

Cats!!  Bah!!

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Doctor's Orders

On Friday Mum put my leash on and opened the back of the car.  I thought we were going to the puppy park so I was very excited but then I noticed that Mum was putting Heidi back into the house and closing her in. 
Oh No!!  I was going to the vet!!!  Eek!! 
It's not that I don't like Doctor Sandra but she has a habit of doing funny things to me. 

As usual, when we arrived, I had to sit on the black thing for a minute.  Miss Hannah, the nurse, said I was 26 kg.  Apparently that is a good thing because Miss Hannah patted me and told me I was beautiful.  

Then we had to wait for a little while and I was a bit worried and a bit excited.  I was shivering so Miss Hannah came to cuddle me and told me I was soooo beautiful and that I didn't need to worry.
That was all very well for her to say; she wasn't the one who had to go in to see Doctor Sandra.  

Soon it was my turn and Doctor Sandra came out and said, 'Come on, Trudy.'  So in we went.
Well, it was pretty much what I had expected.  First I gave Doctor Sandra a big cuddle because I hadn't seen her for a long time.   She told me how beautiful I was and then I had to stand very quietly while she put the cold thing on my chest.  Then she had a good feel around my tummy and peered down my ears.  And then.......oh, the horror, the indignity,......she pulled up my tail and inserted......yes, inserted......something!!  How rude!!  I tried to sit down but Doctor Sandra had a firm hold on my tail so I couldn't.  At last she took the thing out of my.....well, you know.....and told me I was a good girl.  I was still feeling all insulted over the appalling assault on my person when things took a turn for the better.
I was given liver treats for being so well behaved and then Doctor Sandra told Mum I had a bit of 
'Tar - Tar' on my teeth and that I needed to eat bones more often.  Mum said that we have a bone once a week and Doctor Sandra said to make it twice a week or even more.  Yay!!!

After more cuddles we went home to Heidi who had done the only sensible thing given the circumstances.  She had hopped up on Mum's bed and gone to sleep.

I was exhausted.  What an effort!  Thank Goodness it only happens once a year.

Anyway, here I am following doctor's orders with some marrow bones that the butcher sliced up for us.

Mum gets the butcher to cut the bones up because if we have them when they are still big dinosaur bones we fight over them.