Tuesday, 22 May 2012

A Battle of Wills

Mum has bought us bones. This is because our doctor has said that we should eat bones each week to keep our teeth clean. Heidi is outside chomping away at her big piece of dinosaur bone. She will work at it for hours until it is just a tiny nub which Mum will then throw in the bin. I had my bone in the garage and had a bit of a chew at it and then I thought I would take it out to the palm tree and bury it in my secret spot. Mum did not agree with my plan however. She took my bone and put it....and me...in the pool room and told me to 'Eat that bone'. I have sucked it and had a bit more of a chew on it but I really want to go and bury it. Mum says that if I bury it I will become 'territorial' and will not let Heidi out into the back yard. This is true. It is my bone and, even if I don't want it, nobody else can have it or even come near it. So here I sit.....with my bone....waiting....wanting to bury it.....and Mum is having a coffee in the kitchen.....watching me....every so often telling me to eat the bone. Heidi is crunching outside. I can hear bone shattering noises coming from the patio. Maybe I will just have another chew. That might make Mum let me take it out to bury. Not bad! Still want to bury it though. Mum is watching me. I smile and wag my tail. No result. Still in the pool room with my bone. It is a battle of wills. No one is going to make me eat a bone if I want to bury it first. I like my bones slightly rancid and mouldy. 45 minutes later: Still in the pool room with my bone....although there doesn't seem to be much of it left now. The more I chewed at it the better it tasted so I kept on chewing and then.....wow!....I reached the soft, sweet marrow in the middle and I just couldn't stop. Yummmmm! The problem now is that Mum will think she has won and....seriously, we cannot have humans thinking that they are in control. So I am going to bury this little bit that I have left under the cushions of the chair. Ha! The big blonde dog is victorious....again!

Friday, 18 May 2012

Footnote from Mum

As a footnote to the last post I must tell you all that Trudy is in deep disgrace tonight because, as I was unloading and putting away the groceries this afternoon, she managed to make off with a freshly baked loaf (a whole loaf!!!!) of wholemeal bread and had devoured it before I realised it was gone.  Took it straight out of the shopping bag.  I couldn't believe it.
Its not as thought I starve the dog, folks.  She is very well fed....but it seems she now has a taste for fresh bread......buttered or not.....with or without cheese.
In anticipation of the digestive uproar I am sure will ensue, I have relegated the big blonde dog to the garage.

Best Regards
BBD's Mum.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

White or Wholemeal?

On Sunday the humans celebrated Mothers' Day which meant that we were left at home by ourselves.....again! Mum fed us first and then Dad said to me, "Troods, you guard the house." Well, I take my duties as a guard dog very seriously so I started patrolling the house to make sure there were no intruders. Heidi went for an after dinner nap on the couch. I kept guarding. I sat out in the pool room and watched out through the windows. Heidi woke up and had a drink. I kept guarding. Heidi went out the back for....well, you can guess what she went for. I kept patrolling. Gosh, I was doing a good job! Heidi decided nothing was happening so she went back to sleep on the couch. I may have had a short snooze but I was still on high alert. Nothing got past me. No guard dog has ever done a better job than me. All that guarding was making me hungry. Heidi said that there wouldn't be any more food until Mum came home but I was really feeling like a little snack......but I was a guard dog so I kept patrolling. And then....I saw something.....up on the bench. Dad had left something there. He must have known that a great guard dog like me would need a snack halfway through her shift. Good one, Dad! I stood up and took it down. It was wrapped up in a plastic bag and it was a bit of a struggle to get it open but, eventually, I was able to enjoy my snack of sliced bread. It would have nicer if Dad had buttered it but it's the thought that counts, after all. I kept guarding until Mum and Dad came home, but I must confess that I was....um...farting (OMG!!!)....quite a bit. Nobody mentioned that the bread was gone but there were several complaints about 'smelly dogs'. I tried to look innocent because it is usually Heidi who is to blame for these things. It wasn't until the next morning that Mum found the plastic bag outside where I had left it. Apparently the bread wasn't meant for me at all...which explains why it wasn't buttered,I suppose. Mum was not impressed with how many 'little gifts' I had left for her in the back yard either. Judging by the way she goes around collecting them every day I thought she would have been impressed with the quantity, but....no. From this I have learned that Wholemeal bread gives me a tummy ache and so, in future, I will be sticking to white bread.....hopefully buttered...and preferably with cheese.....but, gee, I was a great guard dog.

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Home Again...Hooray!

Mum came to get us at last!
Miss Angela is fun and we have a pretty good time staying with her but we are always very glad to come home.

As soon as Mum unloaded us from the car, we raced around to make sure everything was just where we left it.  All seemed to be okay so we gave the neighbours a good barking just to let them know we were back and to warn Otto (aka The Rat) to keep his ratty face away from our fence.
Dad was somewhat put out that we didn't greet him until we had taken care of these things.  Priorities, we tried to tell him....priorities!  You cannot allow the neighbours to think they can just carry on as they please.  It is all for the security of the house that we have to be so firm with the likes of pussy cats, possums and Rats who think they are dogs.  Heidi sat beside Dad on the couch for a while so that he felt appreciated.  (Got to keep the humans happy.)

Now, dinner has been served (on time) by Mum and we are having a well-deserved rest.  Being 'on holidays' sure does wear a dog out.

Our 'family suite' was quite comfortable but there is nothing quite like a snooze on your very own chair or couch.

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Help! We Are Prisoners!

We are being held prisoner by Miss Angela at the kennel. Mum dropped us off last week....ages ago...and I think she has forgotten to come and pick us up again. There doesn't seem to be any way for us to get out of here and go home on our own. Heidi says if we could get out, she knows the way back to our house. I think between the two of us we'd find the way. How hard could it be? The problem is that Miss Angela has these big high fences everywhere....and gates which close by themselves. Heidi and I have a "family suite" so we can be together. It has a sleeping space with two beds which is covered in and another space which is more open and allows us to see our fellow inmates.....like Basil. Basil is another dog who is trapped here. He has little tiny legs and a long body.....obviously some strange mutant breed. He has a tendency to wail when he feels lonely. Heidi talks to him through the fence and she says he dribbles too. He doesn't get to play with us because Miss Angela says we are too Boisterous for him. I don't know what boisterous is but I think it must be something to do with his having those little stumpy legs and not being able to run and jump like us. Miss Angela can be bossy but she does serve dinner at the right time....5 pm...however, there are no breakfast treats. I have tried to speak with her on this issue but she just doesn't seem to understand. Heidi says no breakfast treats is totally unacceptable. Even prisoners should have treats, she says. Otherwise Miss Angela seems to have a reasonable grip on what dogs like. She knows lots of good games and has even built a running track and mud puddles in the playground. We like the running track. There is a big square playing yard and the running track goes around the outside of it. Miss Angela puts Joe, the greyhound, in the running track and we go in the middle yard. Joe belts around the running track and we rush from side to side of the playing yard to keep up with him. Boy, is he fast! Heidi says she is the winner because she can go across and back before Joe can go right around. Methinks Heidi deludes herself. I try to keep up with Joe and he beats me every time probably because I am barking as I go. Miss Angela says I am a lunatic. Don't know what that means either. I have worked out that when the bell rings, it means there is someone at the front gate. Sometimes it is a new prisoner being dropped off and sometimes it is someone's human coming to get them. Maybe, tomorrow the bell will ring and it will be Mum coming for us......but,I guess, if you have to be a prisoner this isn't a bad place to be.