Friday, 24 August 2012

Public Announcement

A serious situation has been brought to our attention today.  It seems there has been an outbreak of bear-napping north of Brisbane.  Residents are warned that white coated humans have been creeping around intent on swiping guard bears, especially small ones from their positions atop metal stands in hospital rooms.  These attacks have been most brazen, some occurring right in front of the bears' owners.

This very morning in the Redcliffe hospital a small bear of noble birth, Sir Rascal, was almost abducted by one of theses white-coated villains.  Fortunately, the Lady Kristine of Narangba, although confined to her sick bed, was able to intercept the bear-napper and save the innocent bear.  It is suspected that Lady Kristine was deliberated sedated in order to render her helpless to assist Sir Rascal.  It is expected that in future security in the form of the intrepid Bonnie the Wonder Dog will be employed to safeguard both Lady Kristine and Sir R.

Heidi and I are appalled by this blatant disregard of bear rights.  What is the world coming to when a guard bear is unable to perform his duties without fear of bear- napping.
Bear-mappers beware! We are watching out for you.

Friday, 17 August 2012

Showering with Mum.

So today we found out what that cabinet in the bathroom is for.  It is a rain cabinet.  You go in there and it rains on you....warm rain.  Amazing!

How did we find this out? Well, I'll tell you.

It is a beautiful day here in Brisbane and so Heidi and I were out in the garden investigating. We like to investigate.  You can find all sorts of interesting things if you look hard enough.  We found the remains of something - possibly a choko (chayote for you non Australians) from the vine next door. We found several seed pods - none of which were edible. We found a hole that needed digging so we dug it. Then we found Otto the Rat watching us through the fence so we had to run up and down the fence line barking at him.  By the time Mum called us to come inside, I was no longer blonde...more a smokey grey colour. Heidi was still a brunette. You can't tell when she is dirty.

Mum took one look at us and had what can only be called a bad reaction. She locked us in the poolroom and left us there while she had a cup of tea. Dad said it was a calming cuppa.
Then she took me into the bathroom and invited me to get into the cabinet with her.  She was wearing a swimsuit so I was a bit confused. Usually when she has a swimsuit on it means she is going into the spa pool.  I tried to resist her invitation but that woman has a will of iron at times. She dragged me in, not an easy task, and closed the door. Then the rain started.

It was quite nice really. Mum rubbed shampoo on me and the rain washed it off.  After a while, the rain stopped and we came out. Mum wrapped me up in two towels and Dad took me back to the poolroom.  Then Heidi had a turn in the rain cabinet.  She managed to keep her head dry. How, I don't know.

Shortly after that, Mum brought the hair dryer to the poolroom and dried us off completely. I am a big blonde dog again and Heidi is still a brunette.  Mum seems to be happy that we are (all) nice and clean again.  She has some sort of preoccupation with keeping things clean. A waste of time in my opinion. They only get dirty again....especially dogs with dirt attracting coats. 

What an interesting afternoon.

P.S.  Dad filled the hole in so it will have to be dug again next time we are outside.

Monday, 13 August 2012

The deed that must not be named.

I have committed a major indiscretion it would seem.  I am not entirely sure why this so, because what I did seemed perfectly natural to me. Heidi agreed that it was the only thing to do under the circumstances. So I did it and, I have to say, I enjoyed it.

Mum and Dad, on the other paw, found my actions to be "completely unacceptable and inappropriate behaviour for a young lady of my breeding".

In fact, since the event actually took place, it has not been referred to name. It is like that guy in the Harry Potter books - He who must not be named.  This is the deed that must not be named. 

Suffice to say that it had to do with the little blighters who race around on the roof every night, hurl seeds and gum nuts around and yell abuse at innocent dogs. But, apparently, I am the one who has committed a crime and I am the one who is in considerable disgrace for the deed (that must not be named).

When news of the deed was relayed via text message (I am remarkably good at texting) even Mark and Eliza (usually two of my staunchest supporters) were horrified.  Dad immediately removed all evidence of the deed and even though I searched and searched I couldn't find any traces of the crime.

So here I sit, in disgrace, trying to work out what was so bad about what I did.

Perpetrator of the Deed.

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Cold Weather Blues

It has been really cold these past few mornings. Heidi has commandeered the beanbag which has a nice soft velvet cover. This has meant that I have had to find a nice warm spot of my own.

Mum has been most unreasonable about sharing the big bed with me. I suggested we send Dad down to the spare room but, apparently, he takes precedence over me when it comes to sleeping companions. I do not understand this at all because he makes the most appalling noise when he sleeps, and I am nice and quiet.  

I went to the spare room but the door was closed. Then I remembered that there is a couch in the other bedroom. So that is where I have been sleeping.  It isn't as soft as the big bed but it is warm enough for me.  I have also discovered that after dinner, when Mum and Dad settle down to watch the television, nobody takes much notice of me. This, therefore, is a good time to sneak down to the big bed and snooze in comfort for a couple of hours. 

Tomorrow we are expecting some extra treats because it is Heidi's birthday. She'll be six. Usually we have bones or chewy treats to celebrate. I am not sure what we will get tomorrow because Mum was somewhat displeased with us for digging holes in the backyard. She said, 'That's it, Heidi. Your birthday is cancelled.'.  But, surely, she can't cancel a birthday.  There must be a rule in the dog owner's handbook about such things.  I wonder where Mum keeps her copy of the dog owner's handbook.  I might have to study the section on protests and appeals.

Happy Birthday, Heidi.